On some VERY saucy donkeys...

So, there I was, reading the New York Times, minding my own business. I come across an article called "Syracuse in 36 hours,"which is essentially a rundown of a potential one-day getaway in the Salt City. Among their suggestions, I came across this little nugget:

"'When you see God, you can't go back and tell everyone how handsome he is.' So go the streams of consciousness from the Zamboni Revolution, a team of Syracuse University students who perform improvisational comedy throughout the school year. The mostly free student comedy and music shows at the Schine Student Center are part of the regular weekend avalanche of campus events."

That's right, bitches.

My little baby is growing up.

Update #2

You'll recall in my last post that we drafted our celebrity roster.

One of our producers caught wind and wanted to play. So, we quickly rigged up another draft featuring In Touch magazine. One day hasn't passed, and I'm already in two freaking leagues.

Roster #2 (11 teams, 5 persons each, 2 male minimum) features:

Paul McCartney
Katharine McPhee
Matthew Fox
Halle Berry
Mariska Hargitay

(And yes, the last pick was a courtesy pick.)

(And yes, I'm the biggest dork ever.)

Update

You'll recall in my last post that I would take part in a ridiculous fantasy league draft featurting celebrities in Us Weekly.

Well, the draft is complete.

Here, my friends, resides this year's roster (in the order drafted):

The Beautiful People
Angelina Jolie
Nicole Kidman
Paul McCartney
Matthew Fox
Beyonce Knowles
Kelly Clarkson
Harry Connick, Jr.
Jamie Foxx
Oprah Winfrey
Jeremy Piven

The President's trying to fence off Mexico, Iran's building the bomb, and I'm busy scouting American Idol and the Tony Awards.

My life has officially reached a new low.

America (and by America, I mean me) Needs Your Help!

It started innocently enough.

As I left the office to run an errand, a co-worker passed around an article on ESPN.com by Bill Simmons, aka "The Sports Guy." The topic? Explaining the allure of fantasy sports leagues to his wife.

She doesn't "get sports," as you'd expect, so he sought to demonstrate the appeal in a fashion she'd understand:

"When I told my wife about [the allure], she looked like George Karl at the end of the Nuggets-Clips series: sourpuss face, hands at her sides, complete disbelief. All she was missing was the potbelly.

"You have a problem," she decided.

"You don't understand the fantasy thing," I countered.

"Well, come up with a league I'd enjoy. Then, maybe I'll understand."

...And then it hit me.

Us Weekly.

...So I'm going to create an Us Weekly fantasy league just for her."

Clever enough. While I was away, though, the article made it to the desk of a chronic reader of US Weekly.

I found, upon my return from errand-running goodness, my co-workers working out the logistics, and I had the number 3 pick in our office draft.

So now, instead of sleeping, I'm currently pre-ranking photogenic, culturally-relevant celebrities as we're now going through with this league. 4 weeks (until the end of shooting), all the marbles and bragging rights. Methinks we're going to embrace American Idol, but we'll see how that goes. I've got the third pick, and we're hoping Lindsay Lohan (or as Bill Simmons refers to her, "the Albert Pujols of the Us Weekly league") falls there.

In the meantime, if you have any suggestions, I could sure use them. ESPN isn't covering this action quite yet.

Chez Matt v2.0 is open for business.

I did done moved. Still in Brooklyn, but a different Brooklyn. Expect more literary goodness soon.

In the meantime, I've got a HiDef TV and a trough of paella. Excuse me if I appeared distracted.