Some men get the world. Others get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona.

It's Steven's last night in town...

I "took a lunch," as they say here in Tinseltown, with an old friend on the Paramount lot today. We ate sloppy joes and reminisced about our alma mater, catching up on who is up to what and where. I asked him how LA treated him, whether he planned to hang his hat here for a long time coming.

No, he said. Just long enough to make a name, then he's taking his reputation home. "I've made some friends here, sure," he said. "There just isn't anyone I'd go out to grab a beer with after work."

This May now behind me, I'm four years removed from the Salt City. I frequently find myself asking if I am anywhere near where I thought I'd be while walking down the aisle in the Carrier Dome. I made a promise to an ex-girlfriend on my 18th birthday that I'd never wear a suit to work - because I never dreamed about that growing up, and a suit to work represents a final concession of the dreamers. I spent the last seven days studying the dream in the Mecca of shorts to work and long, leisurely lunches in sidewalk cafes. It got me thinking.

So I had dinner with an old roommate and another old friend, again catching up and eating apple pie. There's a great deal of Americana in LA - not just the Hollywood schlock, but diners, fast food joints, old cars. It's all an "Los Angeles institution" while none of it seems organically LA. It's helped me develop a new appreciation for Queens, NY.

"It's a lonely city," my old roommate noted. "It's a social field. You can't really escape work." He, much like the others as well as myself, continue to chase the white rabbit. Four years of higher education indoctrinated me to believe that if I wanted to legitimately make it in this business, then I'd need to hang my hat in LA, too.

Tomorrow, I board a plane for New York City. Home. My roommate will pick me up. I'll go to Shea via subway on Thursday with friends, I'll start a new gig Friday, and I'll see my girl on Sunday.

I have no regrets.

All I know's I gotta be where my heart says I oughta be...

This weekend, Jaywalking does not refer only to a lame Leno bit.

So I'm in Los Angeles. There's a Trader Joe's and a lot of driving. An obscene amount.

Apparently, jaywalking's a big no go here. A friend here advised me that his roommate received a $200 summons for jaywalking recently.

I ran across Venice Blvd in Culver City this afternoon, only to have two onlookers I left behind at the curb say, "Oh my God," to my display of impatience for oncoming traffic and that stupid hand.

I have every intention of continuing my acts of civil disobedience.

Everyone needs a hobby.

Wait, what's this? Mad TV being hilarious funny?

It's true, folks. It's true.

In other news: Don't kick the baby.

She can't get paid for it? That's so gay!

I read this little nugget this morning:

Judge: No money for Mormon girl who sued over saying 'That's so gay'

SANTA ROSA, Calif. - A Sonoma County judge ruled Tuesday that a Mormon high school student who sued after being disciplined and then mercilessly teased for using the phrase "That's so gay" was not entitled to monetary damages.

Superior Court Judge Elaine Rushing said that while she sympathized with 18-year-old Rebekah Rice for the ridicule she experienced at Maria Carrillo High School, her lawyers had failed to prove that school administrators had violated any state laws or singled the girl out for punishment.

Somewhere, Will Berriel is weeping.

No word yet on whether the courts deemed threatening to pancake's one's house in retaliation for failure to produce waffles as an eminent threat.

Woke up this morning... got yourself a gun.

I read this article in the NY Times today regarding the gun control debate, which opened with this simple fact:

"In March, for the first time in the nation’s history, a federal appeals court struck down a gun control law on Second Amendment grounds."

That's right. The Second Amendment. Which reads:

"A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed."

Once upon a time, legal scholars agreed the Second Amendment referred to militas, not individuals. Then, others argued the phrase "bear arms" appeared in many legal writings as referring to individuals. Now, apparently, there's a movement of legal law scholars (the NY Times feels compelled to label them as liberals in the article) who argue:

"If only as a matter of consistency, Professor Levinson continued, liberals who favor expansive interpretations of other amendments in the Bill of Rights, like those protecting free speech and the rights of criminal defendants, should also embrace a broad reading of the Second Amendment."

So, there's two interesting points here. 1) The NY Times feels compelled to identify that liberal legal law scholars find this statement accurate, even if it's not the majority view. 2) This view, labeled the "individual rights view," basically states that "Well, if it's OK to liberally interpret the rest of the Constitution, then why not the Second Amendment as well?"

The former's just stirring the point. The latter is fascinating. As a matter of course, one should decide for themselves their own political beliefs based on the system. So, if you're for or against gun control, so be it. You should be allowed to think.

However, that this might happen:

"Laurence H. Tribe, a law professor at Harvard, said he had come to believe that the Second Amendment protected an individual right.

“My conclusion came as something of a surprise to me, and an unwelcome surprise,” Professor Tribe said. “I have always supported as a matter of policy very comprehensive gun control.”

The idea, "Well, I know what I think, but the laws don't back me up" seems, well, crazy. Not a "This guy wants to be a gun-toting maniac in a Church steeple" crazy, but a "This might serve as a genuine legal argument or just an attention grabber for me" crazy. It's kinda feels like the latter, a gun control devil's advocate position of sorts. Nice to see legitimate thought going into the argument, though. It's been a while.

Can Superman just collect all the guns in the world and throw them into the Sun already?