Unemployment, Here I Come

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

My unemployed life.

I move on today. Off to greener pastures. Well, OK. Not greener. Not yet anyway.

I Can Dream... with you TO-NITE.*

I've had that exact music lyric in my head all morning.

What's it from? I don't know. It came to me in a dream last night. A bizarre dream. Strange dream. A dream that had me backstage on one of those kiddie sitcoms on Nickelodeon. And a blond siren belts out a song, blowing everybody away...

I Can Dream... with you TO-NITE.
Na na na.... na na NA NA.

Yeah, I don't know the rest of the words. It kinda sounds like that song "I Believe" by Blessed Union of Souls (I googled it). Except sung by a woman this time, so its not as gay.

My lyric, BTW? Nothing. Well, until Google caches this one.

In the meantime, I clearly made it past the morning so this song will torment me for a while. In the meantime, I'll start playing obscure CDs in hopes of A) finding this song, or B) getting a new song in my head.

In terms of the latter, I dare you to do your worst.

(*Oh right, and since I'm publishing this now, if I hear Jessica Simpson, Kelly Clarkson, or any of those other no-talent hacks come up with this, I officially get to sue their ass.)

We're gonna be the Happiest Place on Earth, even if we have to throw you out in a box.

Child dies on Epcot ride

A 4-year-old boy on a family vacation died Monday afternoon after he passed out on a Disney World ride at Epcot.

The incident happened around 3:30 p.m. on the Mission: SPACE ride, according to Disney officials. The ride spins passengers on a multi-armed centrifuge to simulate a launch into space. It exerts more than twice the normal force of gravity on occupants.

Daudi Bamuwamye, 4, reportedly passed out on the ride and paramedics responded. Witnesses reported seeing Daudi's mother, Agnes, carry him outside to a nearby bench. Paramedics and a Disney worker tried to revive the child, but could not save him. He was prounounced dead at 5 p.m. at Celebration Hospital.

Ever notice how nobody's ever pronounced dead in Disney?

Oh, well, now it makes sense.

Cheney: U.S. Not Aiming To Close Guantanamo

In remarks to be broadcast today on Fox News, Cheney said the administration was reviewing its options at the prison "on a continuous basis." But he defended its track record, saying, "The important thing here to understand is that the people that are at Guantanamo are bad people."

I didn't know that. Keep on keepin' on, then.

Of course, a good portion of Guantanamo detainees are referred to as detainees and not prisoners because they haven't actually been charged with any crime.

The fix is in, next on 21.

I'll tell you about California when I damn well feel like telling you about California. In the meantime, I'm catching up on all the news I've missed while hiding out on the left coast. Good Lord, are they insulated from current events or what?

Did you hear that the Federal District Court case against Big Tobacco wrapped up this week? With some fireworks? Oh, you didn't know? Well, you better call somebody!

The government's nine-month racketeering trial against the nation's leading cigarette companies ended on a tumultuous note Thursday as company lawyers accused the government of a last-minute change in the terms of a proposed national stop-smoking program.

...

The eruption began in the final minutes of closing arguments when Sharon Eubanks, a government lawyer, provided new details of a $10 billion stop-smoking program - to be paid for by the defendants if the judge rules against them - that replaced the $130 billion program the government had been seeking until earlier this week.

At that point, the stop-smoking program was the biggest financial hammer left to the government after an appeals court ruling in February that civil racketeering laws would not allow the government to seek $280 billion in past profits from the companies.

Oh yeah. They couldn't sue for $280 billion because an earlier ruling said the government can't sue for profits made in the past by tobacco companies.

The $130 billion? To create a stop-smoking campaign for current and potential future smokers over the next 25 years. That number specifically came from a recommendation from an expert witness, Michael Fiore, a University of Wisconsin medical professor, called by the US Government in the case.

Then, on the last day of the trial, Eubanks, lawyer representing the US government, calls for a 5-year, $10 billion program for potential future smokers ONLY. For no known reason, since the US government ALREADY recommended the 25 year, $130 billion program IN THIS CASE. This even caught the Big Tobacco lawyers off guard:

"This is like a comedy skit on 'Saturday Night Live,' " Ted Wells, a lawyer for Philip Morris, said. "It's outrageous. It's ridiculous. This was a $280 billion case that became a $130 billion case that became a $10 billion case that will eventually become a zero billion dollar case."

"...Their case is in total disarray," said another Philip Morris lawyer, Dan Webb. "Even if they prevail in front of Judge Kessler, they are not going to prevail in a court of appeals."

And why should you worry, even if you don't smoke?

William V. Corr, executive director of the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids, said the last-minute changes suggest political interference by the Bush administration to soften the blow for the tobacco companies.

"It appears senior Justice officials decided on an amount of money and are now trying to justify that amount by describing a cessation program that doesn't make sense and won't work," Corr said. "They are changing the cessation program to protect the financial interests of the industry rather than 45 million addicted adults."

Somebody is letting Big Tobacco off the hook here. I won't point fingers (Bush), but the fact that a group of corporations that creates a product THAT KILLS ITS USERS can get away with crap like this is downright infuriating.

It's insulting that they can't at least come up with a better excuse. Democrats on Capitol Hill are calling for an investigation, and rightly so. If the department was behaving reasonably when it introduced evidence that called for the larger figure, it has no business now -- with circumstances unchanged -- refusing to seek the vast bulk of what its evidence suggests the American people are lawfully entitled to. If the administration was going to cave in to its donors and friends in the tobacco industry, it should have done so six years ago. But then, what's $120 billion between friends?

Further Evidence that the Day of Reckoning is Upon Us

I'm back from Cali, but no that's not the evidence. You'll get Cali stories tomorrow.

This is the evidence. Thanks to Marty for catching it so that I could figure out one day later why they were playing Aerosmith's "Walk this Way" instead of anything by Dion, the Standells or essentially any quality oldies song you've ever tapped your toe to (whether you'll admit it or not).

New York City radio is awful. It's station upon station of the same mindless drivel over and over again. There is absolutely no room for new artists or eclectic mix. It's top 40, or adult contemp top 40. There are stations like K-Rock that pass themselves off as alternative, but more often than not just play whatever band will be playing the Hammerstein Ballroom that weekend or the Garden that month. Q104.3? Classic Rock is fine (Q104 was the only classic rock station in NYC until 101.1 FM switched formats), but could you hit me with something a little more challenging than your daily lineup of Zepplin, Floyd, Zepplin, Floyd, Queen, Zepplin, Floyd, Beatles, Zepplin, Floyd, Steppenwolf. Z100? Blow me.

I certainly didn't grow up listening to the songs spinning on 101 when they were released, but they became a part of my growing up. My parents listening to it. Me cooking to it. Me dancing in the kitchen while cooking to it.

And so goes 101.1 WCBS-FM New York, home of one of the American made art forms in one of its earliest stages. And you, in your other cities, thinking you've still got that one station that no one else has? This is New York City. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. And if we don't have a station like your cute little station, start worrying.

And apparently, we won't be able to hear that song anymore unless someone's recapping the Yankees game of the previous night.

Cousin Brucy, we need you now more than ever.