It's Like 10,000 Spoons When All You Need is a Knife

The Supreme Court declined to hear the case over the legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts. The Massachusetts Supreme Court approved the legalization, and conservative groups in favor of creating a Constitutional amendment banning gay marriage appealed to the US Supreme Court before being declined.

The Supreme Court currently listens to Ashcroft v. Raich, the case of a California woman fighting to keep the use of marijuana in California for medicinal purposes (which she defends as single-handedly saving her life after trying 35 other forms of medical treatment) legal. Acting Solicitor General Paul Clement, representing John Ashcroft (yes, that John Ashcroft) in this case, argues that California's legalization of marijuana undermines the federal legislation outlawing it. Needless to say, Clement fights for the Supreme Court to overrule the California state government and essentially make marijuana illegal once again.

Now, to put this in perspective...

In George W. Bush's remarks at the 2000 Republican National Convention, he mentions "big government" as putting up walls that divide us, stating:

"On one side are wealth and technology, education and ambition.

On the other side of the wall are poverty and prison, addiction and despair.

And, my fellow Americans, we must tear down that wall.

Big government is not the answer."

Bush later goes on to say about government's ability to fix what ails us all:

"Government cannot do this work. It can feed the body, but it cannot reach the soul."

And, just for good measure, Bush reiterates in his 2004 Republican National Convention remarks, although spin and pot shots at Democratic Candidate John Kerry help Bush dance around the exact words:

"(Kerry's) tax and -- His policies of tax and spend, of expanding government rather than expanding opportunity are the politics of the past."

And yet, with a Constitutional amendment and a Supreme Court ruling, this now conservative "big" government would be "doing this work." Which is noteworthy, considering the Republican platform in 2000 clearly stated:

"We must acknowledge that the federal government’s role should be to set expectations in policies, then get out of the way and let the states implement and operate those policies as they best know how. Washington must respect that one size does not fit all states and must not overburden states with red tape attached to its policies."

I suppose alot can change in four years. I also suppose that by "expectations," Republicans now mean "mandates."

Republicans, champions of limited government and states' rights, use the machine to quash what they fought so long to defend. I'm not faulting them. Just saying... To every thing, turn, turn, turn...

Geography, brought to you by Rice Krispie Treats

Bonus points for the food stuffs mimicking the unhealthy terrain of the Garden State. 


(Honorable mention to Kyle's birthday cake resembling a Native American sacrifical altar, or for resembling a birthday cake with matches for candles.) 

You are Now Free to Move About the Country.

Just stay north of the Equator.

A controvery's a brewin' in regards to new pat-down searchs at airports, implemented in response to two Russian planes taken down by bombs allegedly smuggled onboard a little over a month ago. These searches include potential strip searches as well as full pat-downs, including the breasts on females and the groin area on both males and females. They're randomly selected, and in private if requested. (Should I insert the 1-900 number now or wait?)

Kind of a touchy subject, but I bring this to your attention after reading the plight of 27-year old graduate student Sommer Gentry described in US News.com. Read the specifics here.

I swear, I needed a cigarette afterwards.

From the "Now Why Didn't I Think of That?" Files

A 13 year old boy from Virigina Beach is currently held in custody at a detention center after forcing a stripper to perform at gunpoint. He allegedly lured her by saying his older brother had hired the "dancer," then as she grew restless, pulled out a shotgun and forced her to dance. She eventually fought her way out, and the police apprehended him shortly thereafter.

(It's worth mentioning that Virginia Beach resides in a red state. Ya know, pro-guns and not so hot on women's rights. Sounds to me that they're a' raisin' that boy gooder 'n y'all...)

Dream a Little Dream

Well, you know...

Artest is done for the season, O'Neal and Jackson are gone for a while, Reggie Miller is terrible... and the debate goes on: Who's fault?

I'm not here to declare fault (fans shouldn't throw beer, period. Players don't go into the stands, period.), but it's worth mentioning another topic...

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Yeah, yuck it up all you want, but think of the children! I personally experienced such horrors in the aftermath that it's clearly all but coincidence that this Pistons-Pacers brawl inspired it. I thought I'd be fine. Heck, after watching the footage Friday night, I promptly went to sleep.

I counted sheep, and while that happened, one sheep was a little late jumping over the fence. He bumped into another sheep. Then, a mug of sheep grog came out of nowhere, and Ron Artest appeared and started beating up the sheep AND the farmer to which the sheep belonged. All the surrounding sheep started throwing grog at Artest as the Sheep police carried him away. The deluge went on all night.

I woke up in a cold sweat, and couldn't sleep Saturday. In search of refuge, I went to Sunday Mass. Listening to some familiar words, I found solace. Then, one of the altar servers bumped into the priest as he distributed Communion. One of the Eucharistic Ministers flung the wine out, and Ron Artest came out and started beating the hell out of the 80 year old ladies in the first row, screaming, "Did you throw it? Did you throw the blood? Do I look like some kind of vampire to you?" Jermaine O'Neal backed him up, beating up the second row with the collection baskets. A folding chair came from nowhere. It was ugly.

Is there no end to the horror?

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em...

A British schoolteacher informed her high school students that they faced impending doom in the form of a meteor destroying the planet Earth, and they should offer their goodbyes to family and friends. "Seize the day," she later explained to defend her rationale as the fear-stricken students recovered from her hoax.

Clever, lady, but that meteor hit over two weeks ago...

You Ask Me for a Contribution... Well, you know, We're All Doing What We Can.

It would appear another blogger's made the papers.

Ellen Simonetti, known in the blog world as Queen of Sky, got herself fired from her stewardess... ahem, flight attendant position at Delta Airlines for posting some "racy" photos of herself on her blog (which can be viewed here - not bad, like a strong 7-weak 8, but part of me thinks the allure comes from an innate desire to join the Mile High Club).

For those of you who didn't look, she's posing on grounded airplanes in her Delta uniform, showing a little skin and eating a little pizza.

This isn't the first time I've heard of a case like this, either. Jessica Cutler, former Washington, D.C. staffer and Syracuse University alum (oh, I'm swelling with pride over that), essentially got blacklisted in Washington for keeping a side job as a Hill whore and recording her antics as Washingtonienne. Granted, her blog consisted of "racy" encounters she may or may not have had with prominent Washington socialites (rumored to be more likely not, though she never names any names), but it's the principle of the thing. These blogs are hazardous to your job health.

Now, why should anyone give a crap, you ask? I'll tell you. These blogs we've adopted in our times on this feeble planet can be held against us (in Ellen's sense, potentially in a court of law). Her Aerial Majesty wasn't aware anyone from Delta knew about her blog, let alone checked it. However, with over a recorded 500,000 hits, ya had to believe SOMEBODY was reading it. Granted, her blog essentially tells of her day-to-day escapades as a flight attendant, and her 15 minutes now will presumably make her a martyr to some, but I find this story a little more telling than that.

Express yourself, and you may get screwed for it. Due to ignorance? Perhaps. Neglect? Maybe. But it just strikes me in how we who express ourselves in this format feel to be hopefully leaving something personal, and just the potential that someone misunderstand it, and worse yet, use it against us, I imagine says something about the human condition.

Or, it says people think too highly of the Internet. One or the other.

Looking for the Perfect Gift for that Special Someone this Holiday Season?

God, you've saved us again...

City of Brotherly Love (Kept at a Safe Distance)

Visited Philadelphia on Saturday to observe Syracuse get beat by a team so bad, they're being kicked out of the Big East at the end of the season.

(No, Pat, it's not Rutgers.)

Still, I write because after the game, I visited a local landmark in Philadelphia.


No, not this one.

I meant this one.


And what got me about it was not this history surrounding it, nor its location, but rather the security precautions.

As a result of security, the Liberty Bell Center was fenced off, and visitors need to pass through metal detector screening before being allowed in the facility. You're also not allowed to enter unless you have a timed ticket (that's a ticket assigning you a time you can visit), and they recommend that you arrive at least 45 minutes early to get through OK. Timed tickets, of course, are distributed early and run out quickly. Needless to say, they're long gone before I roll out of bed.

Nowhere in the history or security is it mentioned anywhere that it's a GODDAMN BELL. Though I have issues with the security measures for visiting, say, the White House, I understand that a little more than all this trouble to see the Liberty Bell. The White House got me out of bed at 7AM on a Saturday. This... oy.

So, alas, I'm left with nothing more than just the ability to view it...


from a safe distance... 

...and crush it between Alex's fingers.


I believe the terrorists have won. 

I'm Confident Enough in My Masculinity to Admit That...

I'm impressed by Maureen Dowd, columnist for the New York Times.

The Liberal answer to Ann "I hate you" Coulter, Ms. Dowd provides wit and intelligence in all her work.

Still, she's a columnist, a straw designed to stir the drink. Not that it's a bad thing, but it's comical when she can draw the ire of make-believe, crotchety old "Democrats" of Georgia, (see: Zell Miller), who stated:

"The more Maureen Loud [sic] gets on 'Meet the Press' and writes those columns, the redder these states get. I mean, they don't want some high brow hussy from New York City explaining to them that they're idiots and telling them that they're stupid."

Maureen Dowd's response?

"I'm not a highbrow hussy from New York. I'm a highbrow hussy from Washington. Senator, pistols or swords?"

Don't sing it, baby...

So, Should I Call You or What?

Nothing more romantic than a sunrise over the Manhattan bridge on your morning commute. Nothing more pathetic than getting shot down to the embarassment of your fellow commuters...

So I witnessed a rejection of epic proportions. A young gentleman, unassuming, with a small satchel slung over his shoulder, had been standing in front of a lovely young dame, seated. With the new day Sun at his back and a glimmer in his eye, our hero said something to our heroine on the D train over the Manhattan bridge. Our heroine, with the sun in her eyes and his satchel in her face, gave him a stare and said something back. Our hero reciprocated, said something else. He then walked toward me on the subway and proceeded out the door at the first stop in Manhattan, as our heroine looked on in bewilderment. I thought I'd seen the worst.

I hadn't. Two stops later at West 4th Street, I departed the D train for a transfer. Much to my dismay, I'd been cut off by our hero, who had disembarked the very same D train, though now two cars back.

He had no trouble walking up the stairs, as it was apparent his small sack provided no impediment.

I... uh... yeesh... um...

I mean, sure it's not as bad as it sounds, but yowza...

Looking for a Good Time, Baby?

Tired of looking for that special someone in clubs and parties in metropolitan areas? Longing for a good Christian boy who has no problems making females subservient, or a good Christian girl who doesn't mind being your bitch? Want to guarantee no sex with a neat-o guy who sleeps in pajamas? Want to make sure that your new life partner is of the opposite sex, and will stay with you should God bless you with a child a little too soon?

Well, checkout ConservativeMatch.com. Get a life before your 9PM bedtime.

Enough of this Jibba Jabba

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear...

Frankly, it's getting a little frustrating with the media pundits professing how "moral values" won the election. Karl Rove himself claims Dubya's more in touch with the common man, stating:

Well, I think more importantly, the president is in touch. People of faith who are concerned about the coarseness of our society, about a culture that seems unfriendly to the vulnerable, the weak, and the young, who are concerned about there being a place in the public arena for people of faith, saw in the president somebody who shared their values.

See, the President's really just like you and me. He's one of us. Or, stupid.

See, the thing about moral values is that it's a load of crap. Peter Steinfels of the New York Times argues that the phrase "moral values" exists merely as some good ol' fashioned SPIN. Describing moral values as "an ambiguous, appealing and catchall phrase," Mr. Steinfels explains:

It is true that if the exit polls had constructed an equivalent catchall economic category adding concern about health care and taxes to that about jobs and growth, it would have been the top concern of 33 percent of the voters. If the poll findings had combined concern about terrorism with concern about Iraq, as apparently many voters did, the resulting category would have ranked first with 34 percent of the voters.

So if you want to continue to buy in on the "moral values" horseshit, feel free. Bush did campaign to repeal abortion laws and ban gay marriage, but for those of you who have any sense of history should realize that regulating morality didn't work out so well in the past.

I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

However, that doesn't change our immediate dilemma. This "moral values" beast will need to be fed. And God knows that Bush has no problems sticking by his faith-based initiatives (small pun intended). The mere sentiment of "tougher, less secular, Scripture-guided society with the guts to take the fight to the international terrorists" (which we're one step closer to today) goes against everything we as Americans have stood for thus far.

It's also worth mentioning that John Kerry is a Roman Catholic. You can't get much more conservative religion-wise than Catholic, as even Kerry learned with threat of excommunication. So not only are we being mobilized to be a good Christian society, but a very particular good Christian society. See - you can't win. It really is "us vs. them." This, my friends, is dangerous.

We'll continue to lick our wounds as we can't pin this one on Nader. As we brace ourselves for the unknown to be summarized in the annals of history mearly as "Dubya's 2nd term," remember what we've learned here today:

- Spin, spin, spin.
- If you should stumble across the right person for the job, defend him or her from character assassination with every fiber of your being.
- Canada has a one year wait to become a citizen.
- We are so fucked.

...and then I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?

Governors' Island almost fell today to a fate worse than George W. Bush.

41-year old David Nash of Amherst, VA claimed the island in the name of the Blue Tulip Party. He hoisted a pirate flag on a pole at the center of the island, and told harbor patrols, "Put down your weapons, and go in peace."

After his capture, Mr. Nash reportedly told police that he swam to the island, despite not having an oxygen tank nor mask nor was his wet suit damp.

And what does this have to do with you be American? Citing a threat to national security, the NYPD and US Coast Guard were called out to apprehend Mr. Nash.



Score one for the good guys?

Fell on Black Days

Well, you know...

I've since come to terms with Bednarik not winning (not that I voted for him nor did I consider it even briefly), but I guess what stings most is how Kerry essentially took it in stride, almost routinely.

I think Kerry should've stepped up to the podium in Boston and said one of two things:
1) "It doesn't matter what Ohio thinks!" Then throws up an eyebrow and sniffs in the Boston hysteria, OR
2) "To all my peeps: one love," taps his chest, pulls out a 40, pounds it, then throws up middle fingers and rolls off the stages in flurry of obscenity.

4 more years of George W. Bush. Well, at least the Yankees lost...

Food for thought...

Vote or die, indeed...