Enough of this Jibba Jabba

There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear...

Frankly, it's getting a little frustrating with the media pundits professing how "moral values" won the election. Karl Rove himself claims Dubya's more in touch with the common man, stating:

Well, I think more importantly, the president is in touch. People of faith who are concerned about the coarseness of our society, about a culture that seems unfriendly to the vulnerable, the weak, and the young, who are concerned about there being a place in the public arena for people of faith, saw in the president somebody who shared their values.

See, the President's really just like you and me. He's one of us. Or, stupid.

See, the thing about moral values is that it's a load of crap. Peter Steinfels of the New York Times argues that the phrase "moral values" exists merely as some good ol' fashioned SPIN. Describing moral values as "an ambiguous, appealing and catchall phrase," Mr. Steinfels explains:

It is true that if the exit polls had constructed an equivalent catchall economic category adding concern about health care and taxes to that about jobs and growth, it would have been the top concern of 33 percent of the voters. If the poll findings had combined concern about terrorism with concern about Iraq, as apparently many voters did, the resulting category would have ranked first with 34 percent of the voters.

So if you want to continue to buy in on the "moral values" horseshit, feel free. Bush did campaign to repeal abortion laws and ban gay marriage, but for those of you who have any sense of history should realize that regulating morality didn't work out so well in the past.

I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down

However, that doesn't change our immediate dilemma. This "moral values" beast will need to be fed. And God knows that Bush has no problems sticking by his faith-based initiatives (small pun intended). The mere sentiment of "tougher, less secular, Scripture-guided society with the guts to take the fight to the international terrorists" (which we're one step closer to today) goes against everything we as Americans have stood for thus far.

It's also worth mentioning that John Kerry is a Roman Catholic. You can't get much more conservative religion-wise than Catholic, as even Kerry learned with threat of excommunication. So not only are we being mobilized to be a good Christian society, but a very particular good Christian society. See - you can't win. It really is "us vs. them." This, my friends, is dangerous.

We'll continue to lick our wounds as we can't pin this one on Nader. As we brace ourselves for the unknown to be summarized in the annals of history mearly as "Dubya's 2nd term," remember what we've learned here today:

- Spin, spin, spin.
- If you should stumble across the right person for the job, defend him or her from character assassination with every fiber of your being.
- Canada has a one year wait to become a citizen.
- We are so fucked.