Stay of Execution: Day 6

"I'm going going, back back, to Cali Cali"
-Notorious BIG, "Going Back to Cali"

I BBQed all weekend. It was glorious. Leave your favorite BBQ recipes here, and I will cook them. For you, I'm not sure. But I will cook them.

Yep, I'll be in California for the week with the little lady.

In the meantime, entertain yourself with this.

Stay of Execution: Day 5

So nobody ever told you, baby
How it was gonna be
So what'll happen to you, baby?
Guess we'll have to wait and see
-Guns 'n Roses, "Estranged"

I lived on Day 5 freshman year of college. "Day 5 gonna get yo mama," we used to say.

On an unrelated note: Reason #1217 why the internet is great:
The Box Score of the Greatest Game Ever Played (with me in attendance)

It's sunny out. Go climb a tree.

Stay of Execution: Day 4

There's no time for us
There's no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips away from us?
-Queen, "Who Wants to Live Forever?"

The problem with gradually losing your job over time is that you can't blame it on alcohol. Which is why I'm going to start drinking on the job.

Ah, gin. At least you'll live comfortably during unemployment.

Stay of Execution: Day 3

You treat me like a dirty clown
You're always kicking my dog around
I never get nothin' but constant abuse from you
You couldn't care less what I think, or my point of view
-Oingo Boingo, "Goodbye, Goodbye"

Well, I'm certainly not doing work right now. I mean, I did some in the morning, but nothing meriting any kind of mention. So here's some random musings at present time:

- I'm out of maple syrup. It's not just any kind of maple syrup. It's Vermont maple syrup. My cohorts devoured it all. I was relegated to Aunt Jemima, who, while a very sweet lady, simply shouldn't try to add a butter flavor to her syrup.

- The New York Knicks will be drafting eighth in the upcoming NBA Draft. They would be wise to draft Hakim Warrick of Syracuse. Yes, they need another undersized forward like they need a kick in the nuts, but he's won a national championship, gotten better every year, and has crazy ass mofo dunks that can excite a crowd. He's like Marcus Camby without the injuries. And yes, there is that Syracuse thing.

- The US House of Representatives passed a pro-stem cell research bill despite the President's wishes. Stem cell research is an interesting thing cause the focus is on embryonic stem cells, which come from embryoes created via in vitro fertilization. The idea is that the cells, which have no specific job (i.e. they aren't heart cells, or nerve cells - they're just unassigned, all-purpose cells), could have potential value in treatment of diseases like Altzheimer's, Parkinson's, or different types of cancer. The stem cells are taken, the embryo discarded. Seems wasteful. (This differs from adult stem cells, which can come from organs and tissue such as bone marrow, but are considered to have a narrow potential.) Bush's argument against embryonic stem cell research is that the embryo is a living being and it's life shouldn't be simply discarded for the benefit of science. Interesting. That implies that life (presumably from the point of conception) takes on a value independent of the mother, and keeps that value for the length of its existence. A value we can't take away - because that would be playing God. Which Bush technically does by endorsing the death penalty. Interesting.

- It's Fleet Week. I saw the USS John F. Kennedy stroll up the Hudson. Fathers, hide your daughters.

- Naptime for Matty.

Stay of Execution: Day 2

Buy me a drink, sing me a song,
Take me as I come cause I can't stay long.
-Tom Petty, "Last Dance with Mary Jane"

Well, that was fun.

I updated my resume today. Read the papers. Punched myself in the face continuously for 8 hours. Jealous? You should be.

1 in 3 of lower or working class students drop out of college. 1 out of 3. That means at least 10 kids from my 8th grade class didn't graduate. 10. I should've hoodwinked them for more lunch money when I had the chance.

San Francisco is a silly place.

I'm going for a slice of pizza and a nap now.

The Stay of Execution: Day 1

Remember when you held me tight
And you kissed me all through the night
Think of all that we've been through
Breaking up is hard to do
-Neil Sedaka

I'm such a whore.

The things I do for money...

I've essentially been told I'm a lame duck at this point. It's nothing personal, they say. It's just the way they do things. I should move on, look for bigger and better, upgrade my place in the world and my way of life. Whatever I need to do to not be here.

And yet, here I am in the production office. Working. For money to finance California. I shouldn't have to finance California. Arnold Schwarzenegger still gets residuals. He should finance it.

It is a lot like a bad breakup. Dirty laundry. Clingy-ness. Free lunches at nice restaurants. Ok, maybe not the last part.

Things I think I'll leave on my computer for my successor:
- substantial amounts of pornography
- the Anarchist's Cookbook
- the complete score of the HMS Pinafore
- a picture of this guy

What's your opinion? We'd like to know.

Where the hell are the singing cats?

I'm going to see Star Wars Episode III tonight at a drive-in in Vermont.

Wanna touch me? You can.

I'm not a Star Wars geek. But sometimes I wonder...

Woo! College!

Ok, now it's true, the majority of students today are so cravenly PC, they wouldn't know a good time if it was sitting on their face, but there's one thing that will always unite us and them. They're young. They may not realize it yet. They've got the same raging hormones, the same self-destructive desire to get boldly trashed and wildly out of control. Look out that window! That's not a protest! That is cry for help! They're begging us... "Please have a party! Feed us drinks! Get us laid! Aahhhhhh!"
-Droz, PCU (1994)

Back in the Salt City, attending Erin's graduation. Very proud.

Jane Goodall's the commencement speaker. Which is better than last year, I suppose. (Certainly better than some speakers I'd heard about.) Not on par with mine, though.

Full House is on. Not so proud.

I'm a long way removed from my own commencement ceremonies.

I attended Senior Celebration on Thursday with the little lady (aka the one school event where they serve alcohol to students - albeit Bud Light, but free is free). I felt old. I realized the next major milestone for me is the reduction in my car insurance. The only people to recognize me were former residents from my RA days. Everybody seems so little. I could take them all in a fight. Not all at once, but that's a different debate altogether.

I did get mentioned on a comedy album's liner notes, though. And a former professor of mine told a current student of his to grow up to be me cause I've been eating the last 10 months. The fool.

I got 8 hours of sleep my commencement weekend. Erin has heeded my advice and packed before she leaves. Good for her.

I need a nap. Or gin. We've got gin.

On reading one too many "deer" John letters

5 deer, dead and roadside on Rtes I-280 West and I-80 West in New Jersey. None in PA nor in NY.

Pat, I take it all back.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

Unemployed life, that is.

I mean - I've got two weeks coming up of work, but that's all. Soon after, the checks start coming in.

I've celebrated with 3 naps and an anthropologic pilgrimage to every pizzeria between Smith Street and my house.

The pizza, for the most part, not so good.

The nice thing, though, of being done with Season 15 of ye olde Law & Order is I'm now once again allowed to publicly tarnish NBC-Universal properties, something I wasn't allowed to do due to a "conflict of interest" clause in my start paperwork.

So:
Fear Factor - sucks.
Nobody likes watching big breasted blonds eating any testicles. Sucking them is one thing, but eating them - nope.
Waterworld - sucks.
I'll piss on you.
MSNBC - sucks.
Way to try to be reputable.

Sorry. I've been waiting 10 months to get it out of my system. It's nice.

I'm hung over, my knees are killin' me and if you're going to pull this shit at least you could've said you were from the Yankees.

At Shea again last night. That's two for this season. What have we learned so far:

Record: 0-2
Combined Score: Them 14, Us 6
Free Tickets: 2
# of Hot Dogs: 3
# of potential ulcers: 1
# of Beers: Not nearly enough
Average Inning I Lost Hope: 4th
Average Inning I Had my Hope Restored, only to have those same hopes dashed moments later: 9th
# of Runs the Opposing Team scored before I reached my seat in the bottom of the 1st: 6
# of fans booing Glavine after last night's debacle: 17.050
Infielders who did not make errors in these two games: Mientkiewicz

# of times Jose Reyes walked: 1
# of times Jose Reyes walked this season: 1

So that's a bright spot. Kinda.

I'll be making a concious effort to get to the game before it starts next time, merely as a precautionary measure.

It could've been worse. We could've lost to Tampa Bay last night.

Strong men also cry... strong men also cry...